We are cyclical in nature, but not too many of us take the time to look around and recognize our surroundings. Each step we take takes us forward and yet backward at the same time. It has been said that "those who refuse to learn history are doomed to repeat it" and I believe that this is true. Think about it for a while and you will come to the same conclusion. We find ourselves in the same situations, but usually we cannot discern that fact until it is too late. It is also said that "hindsight is always 20/20" and with good reason. If you look into your past, you will find patterns. You will realize that you have been faced with the same situation hidden beneath a new veneer and yet you will have made the same decision over and over and over again. Few and far between are those who are able to realize and recognize their patterns as they happen and seize the opportunity to change the outcome and break the cycle. The rest of us need a little time before understanding dawns on us. After realization hits, you have only yourself to blame if you continue the cycle.

Right now, we are the culmination of who we were and who we will become; it is only we who decide which part of us will rule.

Will you wallow in the defeats of the past? Will you chain yourself to who and what you were before? Will you turn your gaze inward and see only the regrets and mistakes of your life? Will you define your life around your failures? Will you lash out against anyone and everything because you deny the fact that you have flaws and faults and you cannot allow yourself to be happy?

Or will you learn from what has happened and transcend yourself?

Will you learn from your mistakes and unchain yourself from your regrets? Will you accept yourself even with all your flaws and faults and attempt to make yourself better? Will you allow yourself to see the future that may happen and move on with your life?


The past is past and cannot be changed.
You cannot take back words that have been said and deeds that have been done. You can only accept responsibility for it, apologize and try to atone for it. As for your mistakes, failures and regrets? You can learn from them so that when you are faced with a similar decision or situation, you will recognize it and know what not to do. Unless you like being miserable and dragging all that dead weight of the past with you, learn from it and let it lie.

The future is uncertain.
So, you have a five-year plan? Wonderful. What happens if you get into an accident tomorrow and you die? I thought so. It's good to have goals and ambitions, but don't get too wrapped up in a tomorrow that may not come.

All you have is now.
Today is what you make of it and it is all you have. You might not live to see tomorrow and yesterday is dead and gone.

Think about that.


Welcome to the new year.

the Longest Night will also be the Darkest
as She will hide Her face from the world
so fitting to know
this is the way it should be.

aye, little wolf cub...

had she found you earlier
she would have taught you how to dance
showed you the law of the hunt
pushed you on the way of the moon

but now...

it is much too late
for you already know most of the steps
you've howled your first kill
and the moon favors you still

and she...

she is too old to go capering in the night

but she smiles at your cubbish youth
and she remembers what that was like
as she leans up against her cougar
and they hear your howl


and they smile and dance on their own...

speak to me
blood to blood
at the cellular level we are entwined

i dream in hazel
that is all you need to know

run little pup
run home to your master
hide under the covers and pretend the world does not exist
no matter how far you run
no matter how well you hide
your problems are following you at your heels
and they will catch you and find you
show your teeth little pup
growl as best you can


and then go for their throats.


you problems can't find you when they're dead...

blue blue eyes
seared into my memory
of a past long forgotten
of a chance that never happened
it's been awhile since i've thought of those days
and everytime i sit back to remember
i think of blue blue eyes
and i wonder

but the past is past
and blue blue eyes
create nothing but a wistful smile
with a fleeting thought of insanity

i return to the present
and while i nod in recognition
to where i've been
those blue blue eyes
were the beginning of my journey
on that long, hard road i've tread
i know


i would not give up my hazel eyes for anything