i will find you again
once you are ready for me
and for everything i have to offer you

but by then i'm no sure if
the offer will still be on the table

because by then who knows
where i'll be in my life
and i won't know if i'll need you
once you've weighed your options
and realized your potential

when you come to that decision...


i will find you again but time will tell

if i ever needed you at all

pinned to the day by the knife in my heart
the hand on the hilt, at least it didn't twist
eye to eye, i watched it sink in

i've learned now
i cannot fight the inevitable
love and hope really aren't enough...
and dreamers are damned by their dreams, sometimes

i won't look back in anger or rage
the pictures i have are still beautiful
my memory is clouded by all the good, it seems

maybe tomorrow it will all make sense


i may be lonely but i'm not alone
i have my Family...


I am myself and my own.

all could do was sit there
and scream at you through lowered lashes
even as i tried to ignore
the silent soliloquy that played out across your face
subtle shift of eye

i know how difficult it is for you to take that first step
you trip and fall into the part you want to play
but for me, i slip into my old role
as easily and comfortably as our favorite black dress

and i like to see that slow smile
keep it and hold onto it for as long as i can
bypass that exit and go for the long haul
and i'm tired of driving all night
to try to outrun his singing in my head

but the lonliness always catches up to me
and you know how much i hate that bonejarring emotion
so you climb into your inhibitions and meet me,
your armor against the human condition
and i wonder everytime if its worth it

we're cheating ourselves, you know
you fear getting tangled up in your emotions and i fear being devoid of mine
we meet in the middle of the shadow that was us
circle around like wary dogs
and barter for time as we fight our reflexes


you always did fear the tide, my visual one
you never did dare to fly over that chasm
but i am seaborn and tactile
i'll soar even as i fear to fall



we are still porcelain steel, you know


we are still porcelain steel

given enough time and patience
i would gift you with pain
the memory of what was
the possibilities of all that could be
your feeble brain would not be able to cope with the knowledge


given enough time and patience
i would lie in wait
show you the path you need to take
befuddle and cloud your mind with directions
so you could meander your way to the truth

my dear you are blind
you complain about your inability to see
and i warn you that the vista isn’t what you imagine
i would gift you with the Sight you so desire


and i would remind you of the warning

when the light blinds your eyes for the first time





Remind me to kill you when this is all over
Because you’ll never get out of this life alive

go on
try to keep your thought processes whole
as i skritch, scratch my nails gently down your back
let me remind you what it's like to be loved

go on
try to keep your wits about you and hold on to your will
let me feel your musculature shudder and shift beneath your skin
underneath my caress, my touch, my claws

there's no need to prove your manhood dear
i recognize that spark of life behind your eyes
i know what kind of man you are

go on, now
share eternity in a moment
catch your breath and try to figure out
all the different patterns i trace down your spine

love is insane
gives you hope to press on
when all the world tells you to give up
when you yourself know you should give up

hope remains
love stays strong

you can go to your grave with love
but at least you can say you have lived

don't want to change you
never did want to change you
i accepted you, all of you, long ago
you are who you are
and that's why i love you