i don't think you people understand the enormity of what you've done.
politics is what it is, whether familial or global...
you turned your back on me and mine
dangerous thing for you to do
the stupidest thing for you to do
cut us off, ignored us...except when we're...useful to you...

Newsflash shitheads. That's now how family works.

All my non-blood brothers are far more important to me than you will ever be...
You amount to shit in my eyes.

To bad for you, you cut me off.
I could have been your ticket out of that shithole.
I could have been the one you ran to for support.
I could have been the one you visited when things got bad.
But no, you turned your back on me.
I wasn't important enough.
I wasn't...useful. Not yet, at least.
So you severed me from the family, ignoring me until I become useful.

Like a hand you didn't want anymore, you amputated me
Sorry to inform you, but I held your hopes and dreams
I'm sure you think I'm pliable like my father or
Diplomatic like my mother
You underestimate me
I've seen how you've treated them over the years...Seen it, remembered it...
Because when you fucked with them, by extention you fucked with me.

I will never forget, never forgive. You are all dead to me. Nothing. No one.

My hopes and dreams and life and successes and accomplishments are my own.
You had nothing to do with them. You will not exploit me.

I turn my back on you.
You are nothing. The friends I have are like brothers to me.
When I get married, they will be the ones to attend, to sit on my side as family.
When I have children, they are the ones who will be called "Uncle".
When all is said and done, they are the ones who will be by my side.
They are my family now. They understand what it means to be family.

None of this bullshit that you've decided to heap on me and mine...

Fuck off and die, shitheads. Fuck off and die.

see you always in my mind

but i like to use a little digitalia
to help me hold onto the moment
in case my memory fails
to return, return again

could stare at you forever
memorize every inch


see you always in my mind...

always

hold me

i want to feel your warmth
feel the slide of muscle underneath your skin
skritch, lightly scratching fingernails tracing your spine
while listening to your strongly beating heart
my eyes closed to better enjoy the sensation

don't ever let me go

dredge up the past
shine that bright light on it and show me what I had forgotten about once more
yes, that is exactly what i fucking wanted
to see all those imperfections
remember those goddamn memories


NO


that part of me is dead
don't try to revive it
i don't want to be bothered
i don't want to remember

leave it be
let it lie

Tomorrow is uncertain but
Now is Now, and I'm happy here with you
You
and only you
and the past is dead and buried.

tell me again of what that fucker is doing with his life
after i've forgotten about his existance
give me the update that i honestly don't care about
remind me of that past that i don't want to remember
now that i've finally found my happiness in you
i remember the blackness
the lonliness
the slow spiral into insanity
and the loss of my goddamn identity
that was once the marker of my time with that bastard

Key Word: O N C E

the part of my life that i had successfully forgotten...

you are nothing, shithead.
you are no one, bastard.
you are my past and nothing more.

Nothing but the memory
Of my biggest mistake...
And my hard-learned lesson.

leave me the fuck alone, ghost -- stay away from my love.

Nothing can stop us now.

lucid dreaming of you
so precious, these dreams
time disrupts my slumber...
...wakefulness...
i remember my dreams of you
keeps me sane when my eyes are so dry
bloodshot
tired
red
dry



awaken

Souls sow Trust
Blood calls to Blood
Family demands Loyalty
Friends deserve Respect
Others get Nothing
And only One claims my Love