the Longest Night will also be the Darkest
as She will hide Her face from the world
so fitting to know
this is the way it should be.

aye, little wolf cub...

had she found you earlier
she would have taught you how to dance
showed you the law of the hunt
pushed you on the way of the moon

but now...

it is much too late
for you already know most of the steps
you've howled your first kill
and the moon favors you still

and she...

she is too old to go capering in the night

but she smiles at your cubbish youth
and she remembers what that was like
as she leans up against her cougar
and they hear your howl


and they smile and dance on their own...

speak to me
blood to blood
at the cellular level we are entwined

i dream in hazel
that is all you need to know

run little pup
run home to your master
hide under the covers and pretend the world does not exist
no matter how far you run
no matter how well you hide
your problems are following you at your heels
and they will catch you and find you
show your teeth little pup
growl as best you can


and then go for their throats.


you problems can't find you when they're dead...

blue blue eyes
seared into my memory
of a past long forgotten
of a chance that never happened
it's been awhile since i've thought of those days
and everytime i sit back to remember
i think of blue blue eyes
and i wonder

but the past is past
and blue blue eyes
create nothing but a wistful smile
with a fleeting thought of insanity

i return to the present
and while i nod in recognition
to where i've been
those blue blue eyes
were the beginning of my journey
on that long, hard road i've tread
i know


i would not give up my hazel eyes for anything

roaring into the wind
she knows he can hear her
darkness only blinds those who are not born to it
twilight only makes others nervous
i remember it all
i've seen what will come to pass
and i listen as she roars into the wind
and i know he can hear her
i breathe



...continue to dream...

i can feel you
inside my blood
underneath my skin
you are there
always
ever beautiful


you never cease to amaze me

cool weather
the bite of chill in the wind
even as my skin is warmed by the sun
listening to the waves crash along the shore
cool breezes
early promises of frost in the singing of the wind

i can't wait
i miss it

can't sleep because you're not near me
curled up and tangled with you underneath the covers
warm body and soft skin
listening to you breathe
listening to your heart beat
content to sleep
content to dream

can't sleep because you're far away
damn this reason for insomnia

and if i came for you
would you come with me?
or would you sit and lament over your past
never looking towards the future
never truly enjoying the now

each day is tinged with that past
solely because you refuse to tear that gauze away from your eyes
you refuse to face it, confront it and move on


so when i come for you
i hope you have faced your fear
and come to realize that the deep hole you've been drowning in for years and years
is nothing but a shallow puddle that you've shoved your face in

and we can walk away home

favored daughter she may be
favored slave is what i see...
forged her necklace link by link
with all love and honor
you turned it into a choke-chain
you broke the oath made to you

admire me or hate me as you will
i only call them as i see them
standing up to you as your own daughter cannot

the standing stone speaks and you will listen

starting to hate one phase of the Element i normally love
tired of seeing the white-out
i want my sun
i need my warmth
tired of the ice and cold
give me fire to feed the soul
i sleep

i will go to the land of my birth
stand tall and proud with none of the trappings of my usual life
look each of my supposed family in the eye
and laugh as they finally realize the severity of what they've done
they will never know what hit them
because i'm on my farewell tour
the next time i go, they will not know
and they will not recognize what i have become
undone the bounds of my birth
taken up the mantle of change
my blood burns with the fire of the heat of my land
which is more than can be said for theirs

we don't even have that in common
supposed family

when i drop my bomb you will cry
and i will laugh because the news will hit you so damn hard
and i'll watch and listen with a smile on my face
as you try to save face
as you try to apologize

I know the truth
I know what you all have done

and i will go to the land of my birth
stand tall and proud with none of the trappings of my usual life
look each of my supposed family in the eye...

and laugh as they finally realize the severity of what they've done.

keep dreaming.

My Sanity (3:25:07 AM): well... a small part of you came back dear... im right here...

I know, Sanity, and I thank you for coming back. You have no idea how much those few small phrases mean to me.

i don't think you people understand the enormity of what you've done.
politics is what it is, whether familial or global...
you turned your back on me and mine
dangerous thing for you to do
the stupidest thing for you to do
cut us off, ignored us...except when we're...useful to you...

Newsflash shitheads. That's now how family works.

All my non-blood brothers are far more important to me than you will ever be...
You amount to shit in my eyes.

To bad for you, you cut me off.
I could have been your ticket out of that shithole.
I could have been the one you ran to for support.
I could have been the one you visited when things got bad.
But no, you turned your back on me.
I wasn't important enough.
I wasn't...useful. Not yet, at least.
So you severed me from the family, ignoring me until I become useful.

Like a hand you didn't want anymore, you amputated me
Sorry to inform you, but I held your hopes and dreams
I'm sure you think I'm pliable like my father or
Diplomatic like my mother
You underestimate me
I've seen how you've treated them over the years...Seen it, remembered it...
Because when you fucked with them, by extention you fucked with me.

I will never forget, never forgive. You are all dead to me. Nothing. No one.

My hopes and dreams and life and successes and accomplishments are my own.
You had nothing to do with them. You will not exploit me.

I turn my back on you.
You are nothing. The friends I have are like brothers to me.
When I get married, they will be the ones to attend, to sit on my side as family.
When I have children, they are the ones who will be called "Uncle".
When all is said and done, they are the ones who will be by my side.
They are my family now. They understand what it means to be family.

None of this bullshit that you've decided to heap on me and mine...

Fuck off and die, shitheads. Fuck off and die.

see you always in my mind

but i like to use a little digitalia
to help me hold onto the moment
in case my memory fails
to return, return again

could stare at you forever
memorize every inch


see you always in my mind...

always

hold me

i want to feel your warmth
feel the slide of muscle underneath your skin
skritch, lightly scratching fingernails tracing your spine
while listening to your strongly beating heart
my eyes closed to better enjoy the sensation

don't ever let me go