i stand outside and let the rain lash me
the wind howls with a rage i cannot unleash
thunder grumbles
damn that force, damn its rage
i'm tired of being lonely, alone
it's just me and the Storm
the eye of the Mother watching down
i scream, i howl, i curse and i growl
but the wind steals my voice
keeps it and drowns it deep within itself
and the tears i cry
are as nothing
i don't feel the cold, the rain, the storm
thunder grumbles...quietly, quietly
about as quiet as the blood pounding in my ears
i am still insignificant
and yet...
and yet...


i embrace the storm.
one day the storm will embrace me...


give me its flesh and blood
one who understands the beauty of the lash
the purple of lightning
the soft grumbles of thunder

and my rain won't fall

the passion in my blood matches the intensity of your gaze
but even as your focus shifts
i know that gaze is not meant for me
i'm not the one you're seeing...

in your mind she dances away
even as you cry your pain

and i can't help but measure my love in broken pieces and scars
i know intimately the pain you feel
of being so close and yet the distance between
is a chasm that you cannot cross
no matter how fast or how far you fly

i wish i could help you
help her
make her realize what she is denying
only you truly understand the rhythm of her soul
even as it feeds the fire in yours
but my words would lose their meaning
i have no power there

and i don't fear being six feet under
because i know that the fire will bring me home
my blood calls to it every day
and i wonder what they would say
if i told them what i already know

i'm comfortable in my bones
yet not in the flesh that covers them
but i know it's only transitory

and i know i have no outward beauty
and i'm starting to doubt if i hold any inside as well
because while i've heard those words before
along with the trivialities of...
i love you.
i need you.
i want you.
the tongues that shaped them were forked
and i wonder if they were given to me only as fodder to mull over
to smile over, to swallow
as i put my hard-won skills to use...

these thoughts, these memories
i hold up my bloodstained hands
in quiet supplication to the temple of death
and love
and belonging
but They do no hear my cry
because i belong to the Void

passion, blood, fire, rage
nothing but this maelstrom of emotions
overload
unknown, unseen, but those with sight never try to see anyway
squander that ability and let it lie dormant

but i've digressed and diverted course
because this was all about you in the beginning...
you and she and i...

...wish i knew what to say to you
but my words always fail me when i try to speak them
i only know how to hold and comfort
my vocabulary is best expressed in
touch

i know i don't belong
and you don't see me anyway

but i know the passion in my blood matches the intensity of your gaze
even if it was never meant for me