Tuesday, June 24, 2003

favored daughter she may be
favored slave is what i see...
forged her necklace link by link
with all love and honor
you turned it into a choke-chain
you broke the oath made to you

admire me or hate me as you will
i only call them as i see them
standing up to you as your own daughter cannot

the standing stone speaks and you will listen

Thursday, March 06, 2003

starting to hate one phase of the Element i normally love
tired of seeing the white-out
i want my sun
i need my warmth
tired of the ice and cold
give me fire to feed the soul
i sleep

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

i will go to the land of my birth
stand tall and proud with none of the trappings of my usual life
look each of my supposed family in the eye
and laugh as they finally realize the severity of what they've done
they will never know what hit them
because i'm on my farewell tour
the next time i go, they will not know
and they will not recognize what i have become
undone the bounds of my birth
taken up the mantle of change
my blood burns with the fire of the heat of my land
which is more than can be said for theirs

we don't even have that in common
supposed family

when i drop my bomb you will cry
and i will laugh because the news will hit you so damn hard
and i'll watch and listen with a smile on my face
as you try to save face
as you try to apologize

I know the truth
I know what you all have done

and i will go to the land of my birth
stand tall and proud with none of the trappings of my usual life
look each of my supposed family in the eye...

and laugh as they finally realize the severity of what they've done.

keep dreaming.

Monday, February 10, 2003

My Sanity (3:25:07 AM): well... a small part of you came back dear... im right here...

I know, Sanity, and I thank you for coming back. You have no idea how much those few small phrases mean to me.
i don't think you people understand the enormity of what you've done.
politics is what it is, whether familial or global...
you turned your back on me and mine
dangerous thing for you to do
the stupidest thing for you to do
cut us off, ignored us...except when we're...useful to you...

Newsflash shitheads. That's now how family works.

All my non-blood brothers are far more important to me than you will ever be...
You amount to shit in my eyes.

To bad for you, you cut me off.
I could have been your ticket out of that shithole.
I could have been the one you ran to for support.
I could have been the one you visited when things got bad.
But no, you turned your back on me.
I wasn't important enough.
I wasn't...useful. Not yet, at least.
So you severed me from the family, ignoring me until I become useful.

Like a hand you didn't want anymore, you amputated me
Sorry to inform you, but I held your hopes and dreams
I'm sure you think I'm pliable like my father or
Diplomatic like my mother
You underestimate me
I've seen how you've treated them over the years...Seen it, remembered it...
Because when you fucked with them, by extention you fucked with me.

I will never forget, never forgive. You are all dead to me. Nothing. No one.

My hopes and dreams and life and successes and accomplishments are my own.
You had nothing to do with them. You will not exploit me.

I turn my back on you.
You are nothing. The friends I have are like brothers to me.
When I get married, they will be the ones to attend, to sit on my side as family.
When I have children, they are the ones who will be called "Uncle".
When all is said and done, they are the ones who will be by my side.
They are my family now. They understand what it means to be family.

None of this bullshit that you've decided to heap on me and mine...

Fuck off and die, shitheads. Fuck off and die.

Monday, January 06, 2003

see you always in my mind

but i like to use a little digitalia
to help me hold onto the moment
in case my memory fails
to return, return again

could stare at you forever
memorize every inch


see you always in my mind...

always

Friday, January 03, 2003

hold me

i want to feel your warmth
feel the slide of muscle underneath your skin
skritch, lightly scratching fingernails tracing your spine
while listening to your strongly beating heart
my eyes closed to better enjoy the sensation

don't ever let me go