...and you were destined
to be nothing more
than just words on a screen
dying out even as the phospors
tried to etch themselves into black.

it sounds like the sky is breaking each time thunder roars
but all i want to do is stand in the rain and sing to the storm
to witness the dance of lightning as it lances through the sky
a memory in the making and a reflection in my eye

there is a simple joy in laughter
that is shared for pleasure' sake
on the edges of the evening
in the tree-lined shore
we dance the circle
and make it ours
recreate it all
in love and trust
as the stars mark time
and skin glows pale
in light divine
seared by reds, and sealed with blues
by tooth and nail, love flows

i remember
the simple joys of laughter
shared for pleasure's sake
with love and trust

and i wonder
if i dreamed you into being
or were you always real

i feel...
you

you fit me perfectly

i hear Her voice in the twilight of the evening...
i hear His voice in the twilight of false dawn;
but i hear Your voice all the time.

louder under no moon
when the twinkling of the stars
emphasizes the blackness of the void
loudest while in meditation of
the infinite possibilities within interstitial space

for i am Yours
at the beginning
Firstborn of the Void
Organized Chaos

at the end
Lastborn by They
given thought by the Father
given form by the Mother

but my joy comes from the Void
to be shared with those deemed worthy

(my life comes from the Void)

for then
for now
for ever

he said, come away with me
and i ran in the opposite direction
no discretion
wind in my face, slowing me down
until i stopped and looked around
questioned my knee-jerk response


i'll never stop running
until someone catches up to me
or until i run into someone

stumble and fall

he said, come away with me
and i stopped to listen
but he offered a noose and i value my neck
hasten, hasten
so i did what i was good at

i ran.

it's been awhile since i've given you any actual thought
besides a reference here or there
a passing mention, in the retelling
you're another memory, now
along with all the others
just a page in the book
that i pick up and read sporadically
so i don't forget
a scar that's healed cleanly
and faded away, for the most part
that i idly scratch every so often
remembering the good and the bad
and yet, it's your time of the year
and i remembered, so i wished you well
because i actually do

i idly wonder...
where you'll be when i get home
you're always off with the sunrise
and while i drive into the wayward afternoon sun

i'll
never
catch
up

you hold me close and give me importance
but then, you always turn away and flee
while i fear losing my freedom
and losing the others that i love
even though i love you
and maybe that scares you
enough to run home to your ghost in the shell
surround yourself with pictures
and drown yourself in memories
i love you, my dearest one
more than these limited words
can ever explain

but i'm tired
of holding your hand
while you think of someone else
tired
of building you up
just so you can break yourself down again
so tired
of teaching you how to swim
when all you want to do is drown

someday, love
when you finally decide on me
you'll come looking and all you'll find are...

my well-worn tracks
maybe these words
some pictures of us
ghosts of memories

because you took too long in deciding
that you could swim on your own
that you were better off whole
that my hand fit yours so well

i'm strong enough for the both of us
but that doesn't mean i want to carry dead weight

by the time you see things from my point of view...
i will only be a memory to you.